~masseva

i have so many ideas in my head that it's driving me crazy. not just ideas - whole damn projects is what i've got. even some ancient ideas i abandoned a long time ago are resurfacing again. if i had the time i would spend some weeks getting this craziness out. but, sadly, time is the last thing i have. the deadlines of my uni stuff are approaching so fast that i can already feel the sleep deprivation that lies ahead. and i really want to strangle a person or two from last semester's team-project for not doing their jobs and unnecessarily prolonging the agony that's called "making a reader". (note: no idea if it's an official term, but around here we use "reader" for something like a portfolio of a project, of which one copy is given to the profs and one goes to the archives.)

too much of a good thing is a bad thing. and that goes for inspiration too.

the years i've had a personal computer (or two) have definitely crippled my ability to draw. why the hell did i take all those countless drawing lessons to prepare myself for university if i barely used what i can (or could) at all?
i used to draw all the time. now i'm just doodling to pass time in boring lectures or when trying to explain something. or i'm staring at a pc screen with a mouse or tablet pen in hand. my last pocket sketchbook has something like ten sketches in it - and i don't even know where it is right now. damn, i'm not even sure in which country it is currently. my other sketchbook - the one i carry around every day, is used as a notebook/planner/to-do-list/whatever, not a single drawing in it. i don't even carry a pencil or a marker with me these days.
on top of it all, i slept through the last drawing seminar because i was tired and because it simply didn't seem important at the time, since i don't really have to do it.
feels like i've forgotten something. like i lost something or let it be taken from me...

...so i went into the computer lab to write an e-mail and somehow ended up taking the Illustrator tutor job. i saw the boss-who-is-never-there just in front of his office and approached him about the job before even thinking twice. or without thinking at all. and there i was, talking about teaching Illustrator, confident and all. one hour later 10 out of 16 possible places in the course (my course) were taken.
and i'm still scared to death from this job. why do i always sound so damn confident on interviews, when i barely manage to hold a half hour presentation without a panic attack? no way in hell can i handle two days, six hours each.
the things i do for money. blah.

there's some possibility that i teach a two day course (or two), something like "Adobe Illustrator for architecture students" at uni. they're desperately looking for tutors for it and i know more than enough to do it. and last semester a friend of mine who works at the computer lab kept edging me to apply as a tutor, after i helped him with some Illustrator stuff. he thought i could teach and help others a lot with a course. i would get 150 euro for two days of work - and who doesn't need money. i already found a job (if you could call scanning photographic slides a job), something like 20 hours a month or so, but 150 for two days still seems like a gift.
and still... i'm really not sure. teaching is quite different than simply knowing and doing. i could explain to a person how to do something if they have something particular in mind. ask me a question - i can answer. but a structured workshop, form A to Z, no guidelines, only what i decide to teach - how on earth would i know what to teach them, in what order, how easy or how difficult to make it? and on top of that - standing in front of 5 or more people, more likely older than me, and explaining stuff to them with my accent and my somewhat nervous german (never really learned to speak in front of people) - using a german version of Illustrator and german terms (i've always used an english version) - can i manage?
i wish i had someone with that same experience to talk to.

"Technical drawings convey dimensionally accurate information suitable for architectural, engineering and manufacturing."

i really, really cannot imagine what's so damn confusing about this definition. it seems like more than a half of the deviations in this gallery have nothing to do with technical drawings whatsoever - miscat after miscat. how could cartoonish drawings, anime fanart and even some odd photographs here and there "convey dimensionally accurate information suitable for architectural, engineering and manufacturing"?
isn't there enough fanart everywhere? why would i have to look at crappy fanart even in the Technical Drawings gallery...
DA really needs more gallery directors. or a "report miscat" button, so i could spend a nice evening reporting tons of miscats...